Making an entrance
Cleo spared no expenses. I heard that somewhere before, had to do with a certain park…
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Cleo’s gone all out for her friends
and shows unasked generosity never ends
but that she can really be provoked
when her skills at hygiene are poked.
I wonder if she’ll join in the fun
and give this game, this sport, a run?
Or if she’s going to sit this one out
and just watch Kai and Benji run about?
Benji’s fighting his way through her armour
and, maybe one day, he’ll manage to charm her;
until then he’s got skills to practice and learn,
tactics to work on and a Wolf to burn…
I don’t think Benji is trying to charm her, but it works for the poem ^^
I mean it in a friendly way. He’s known Cleo as an unapproachable. That’s changed.
Is that a real person? I don’t keep up with any sports league.
Me neither, but I did look up some nba coach and I found someone names Ryan Goodson, so I changed his name a little and loosely based the design on him.
Goodson too Gudson as in kai is “aboot too git gud”
You know ,I am really hoping that the story will feature this guy taking over coaching the team. You know, a guy with actual expertise rather than just an ambitious student. Teams have coaches for a reason.
I don’t think the school has a high enough budget for an NBA coach though.
I like the Jurassic Park reference in the description. And I called it with the personal trainer. Yay! xP
Thanks, and yes, you did. Good call ^^
Damn Cleo ^_- just droped a few thousand on all this just how much dose she want to see that wolf eat crow -_^
I think she want’s Kai to win, for Kaya, not because of the wolf :p
>_> wow Kaya burning that $100 bill must have had one HELL of a impact for Cleo go all out like this for her.
You think phrases like “eat crow” are super awkward now that there is probably a crow person somewhere?
No, but they would now fall under the category of being a pun so depending on the “person” they may become more annoying or possibly funny.
Rats.
Ok. Now I’m somewhat dissapointed that Kaya’s annoyance has already been talked out of the picture – the basketball stadium seems like somthing that can be done when you’re mearly well off, but this is just showing off.
I didn’t want to add a lot of drama around that, so wrote it pretty shortly. Maybe it could have done with another page for it.
Overkill? Nah. XD
Overkill would have been a matrix like setup which teaches Kai basketball in mere seconds xD
Ok, I’m liking this chapter, and the conversation between Benji and Cleo. It’s important to have all four of them have some interaction between each other, not just Benji and Kai, Kai and Kaya, and Kaya and Cleo, makes the group more interesting.
While it is funny, I’d be careful about overusing Cleo’s connections and wealth, least it becomes somewhat of a “deus ex machina” (although Kaya seems like she would object to Cleo overusing her wealth to assist them anyway).
Other than that, look forward to seeing what happens.
I second Thisguy’s comments! This seems to be the beginnings of a fun chapter, and I suspect both Kai and Cleo are going to learn a small “life lesson” along the way.
Cleo’s bringing in all this is good fun and cool. She’s already learning the difference between helping real friends and having it be coerced from her by mooches. Somehow I suspect she’s also going to learn that, while money can be a great help, it cannot solve everything.
I suspect Kai will learn something about losing his temper in a dispute.
In the end it will all turn out well and Kai will do well enough that the wolf may also learn a little something about finding talent where it’s not expected, and may get a new friend. Them’s my predictions and I’m sticking to ’em! 🙂
I should hang up a paper with predictions and have some bets :p
I like that you’re analysing the story so much. Most people don’t take the time to do so and tell the author. I’m actually learning some things by reading your comments. (and from other people as well, not just you, for the record.) Thanks ^^
LOL! Well, I am not betting on me! I have a terrible track record. 🙂 But it’s fun to play!
I am very glad you like the predictions though. Sometimes I think the(other) authors think I am trying to influence them,
when my comments really should be taken at face value. I’m just to be and have a little fun! 🙂
Oh, don’t worry, I don’t plan on using Cleo’s money (her dad’s actually) as a ‘get out of jail free’ card on everything. I merely wanted to show off how rich she actually is and that she doesn’t shy away from using it when she needs/wants to. Also, for character development of course :p
yayyyy not evil hoomans ftw!
The thing that happened only happened about 16 years ago, all the adults are humans. And I’m pretty sure that even in that world there are some nice adults.
There had to be some :p
he may be a nba coach but can he do this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfJ7LQn8kp8
I love to analyze comments, but I have an irrational fear that the author will then change the story so after the story is on like a hiatus or done or Injust feel like reading it I write a whole bunch of predictions lol!
Q: How rich IS she…?
A: Not at all … her FATHER is the rich one.
Bill Cosby used that as a joke in a sketch about his own kids. 🙂 I like that you made a similar joke here!
The Chinese are really big
on dragons they are the most common nationality in the world.
They replaced their 1 child policy with a 2 child policy in order
to keep their population numbers in check.
And I like the helicopter sound effect too. Sounds like ‘chatter’ on the baseball field!
I love how his bag says ‘cool’.
Also I rather like Cleo – she seems cool. And she thinks before doing things, which is a good contrast to the twins. xD
“First, we’re going to learn basic flight systems of the AH-64, then we’ll move on to weapons systems…oh, you thought I taught basketball?”
That’s telling him, Cleo. LOL.
Translation: Her family is so rich they just get it fresh off the printing press. No dirty drug covered money for this family!
Here comes reinforcements via helicopter into the drop zone now. Get ready kids, this war is just getting started. I just love how Cleo can be so casual about this.